The first thing I saw was amazing patterns. The colors were intense, the motions of the patterns flowing were complex, like square gears that moved, ebbed and flowed, sometimes they had a boundary that was almost like it was electrified, other times it was everything I could see. I was happy, I remember thinking that this was amazing, even if nothing else ever happened it was totally worth it.
And that was another thing, I could always think. And felt like I had the power to pull myself out, if I wanted to, back into reality. In fact, a few times I did, either to turn over, or to get a drink of water, or to move my hat down over my eyes, or adjust my blankets. My temperature fluctuated from sweating to cold, and sometimes I just didn’t care because I didn’t want to loose what I was experiencing to address whatever it may have been.
So back to the patterns. This didn’t last too long. The next thing I remember experiencing was several cheerleaders, I’ll call them. It was like I had arrived at a party and there was laughing and celebrating that I’d arrived. The patterns turned into a room, it looked almost like the inside of jar the way it was shaped. The floor and the ceiling came towards each other in a gentle curve. The walls seemed to wrap around me, yet they were also appearing to have no beginning and no end. Just lots of colorful patterns.
And then I started to feel incredibly small in the room.
I’m a tall guy, usually the tallest in a room. And this feeling was a bit scary in a weird way. And that was first heavy feeling I had that night. I say heavy, but I wanted to say negative, but it wasn’t really a negative emotion, more just… heavy.
About the same time I had the heavy feeling I also saw a snake and a jester looking joker guy. They came and went several times throughout the night, and always together, but each time they came I made a conscious decision to not entertain what I felt like they were wanting me to think about, and I think it was such a positive experience because of this choice. I’ve heard of people having a negative experience, and I remember thinking during my ceremony that those people with negative experiences probably entertained this characters in their mind.
Another thing that started to happen when I saw the snake and the trickster (a name I heard from a friend to describe it, and thought it was perfect) is that I started to feel like I had to vomit, or purge as we called it.
At the beginning of the ceremony our guide told us when it came time to purge to not force it, just wait and it would happen on its own. Since I wasn’t really ready ready I relaxed and continued to experience the patterns and colors that moved with the rhythms of our guides drums, rattles, and songs.
And then I purged.
Continue with part 3.